Parenting is a beautifully monotonous existence. So much so that I dread the question “what did you do today?”
How do you answer when every day feels the same.
When every day IS the same.
Except it’s not – there are subtle differences.
There is a slow progression of healing and development My baby made a new noise. It was really cute!
Her nap shifted slightly later. After her major explosion, I bathed her in the tub instead of the sink.
There is subtle sameness.
My love grew. I wore a dirty pair of sweatpants. Again. I didn’t have a single adult conversation.
You are completely normal if this monotony makes you feel lonely. Aloneness makes it easy for isolation to set in.
It gets hard to reach out to friends only to cancel because of nap time,
or a cough,
or the rain
Instead of parents receiving the support they need, we feel the burden of overwhelming expectation:
Expectation to do it all. Expectation to be everything for everyone. Expectations to bounce back (what does that even mean?!).
Instead of parents receiving the support, they need we give cliches and unsolicited advice.
Advice like the following:
Don’t hold your baby too much it will spoil them
Don’t lose yourself in motherhood
Put them down drowsy but awake
Sleep train so you can sleep
You get the picture and this is not what is needed.
If you really want to support a new parent, listen to them, ask for the full story, be generous without expectation. and check-in even when the baby is no longer brand new.
I’m saying this all with love.
We are perfectly imperfect humans, each with our own struggles, all doing our best, and it is good enough. Even if we forget to listen and even if we give misguided advice.
What new parents need is connection, community and support – When we have this we feel heard and we have fewer lost and lonely moments.
That is the motivation behind SquamishBABY. Which is a digital space that holds support for parents, from my service offerings, events, and right down to the community group.
With so many baby-related offerings and events happening in Squamish, the trouble is knowing where to find them. Truthfully, who has time to search a dozen websites only to give up as your baby cries for attention?
What we need is a centralized resource for all the goings-on.
This is what I hope SquamishBABY will become.
The vision for SquamishBABY
My dream is for Squamish to be bursting with easy-to-access resources for new families…
This is why I offer massage, sleep and developmental programming and have partnered with health care providers to offer resources outside of my zone of genius.
This is why I have made an events calendar that anyone can populate with their offerings.
This is why I have created a Facebook community where we can offer practical support.
I’m so excited to bring SquamishBABY into the world!
I would love to hear more about your early parenting experiences. Where could you use more support? What is going well? What is missing? Join the Facebook Group and keep this conversation going.